Religion is not spirituality.
Spirituality is the connection you feel with everything in the known universe, not just the connection you feel with "god." I understand why many, many people need god to feel this connection, but I don't. I don't need a middle-man between me and the universe.
I feel connected to the sun; I know without it, there would be no life. I feel its warmth and see its light and understand why it's the reason for my existence.
I feel connected to the sea; although I'm terrified of it and everything that lives in it. I see its enormous, airless, deadly wonder, even though I'll never belong in it.
I feel connected to every living being, be they human, animal, plant, or microbe. We can't live without one another. We are all connected, whether we feel so or not. And we all share the struggle of survival, although in varying degrees of complexity.
And I have faith. I have faith in humanity. I know people are all terrible in their own unique way, but I couldn't believe in myself if I didn't have faith in humanity. Even terrible people are good in some way. Even Hitler loved his dog; they were best friends.
I have faith in nature. I know that even when I can't see it, the sun is always there, giving life to some microorganisms and plants that will eventually give life to me and everything that I love. I know that water evaporates to the sky and falls back to the ground in a wet, hot, circle of life. I know that life is a circle.
And I have faith in life. I believe in living for the past, the present, and the future; everything matters. I believe that happiness comes from the mind; you have to find it within yourself. I believe that my sorrow is worthwhile, just like all my emotions; ignoring it will just wreck me. I believe in my fears, but I don't let them stop me from doing what makes me happy.
I'm happy. I'm content. I have a good life. I have excellent friends; people who know me and love me. I have a fulfilling job in which I can make a difference in the world. I have very satisfying hobbies that feed my mind and make it pink with health. I have just enough money so that I can pay for myself. I have two beautiful cats that have changed my life as much I have changed theirs. I have mental strength. I have confidence and determination. I have spirituality. I have faith.
That's why it hurts my feelings when people say that I'm missing something by not believing in god. Why not look at all these things that I do believe in? How can you judge me by what I don't believe in?
What hurts even more is when people I trust with my feelings try to use them to convert me. When I tell someone that I'm sad, I expect them to think, "I must do something to make Bavani feel better," not "This is a good opportunity to bring Bavani to my way of thinking." I need sympathy and love from you, not from Jesus.
Don't tell me that I'm sick because I don't pray.
Don't tell me that I'm unhappy because I don't believe in god.
Don't tell me that I need Jesus to make me happy.
I am a good person. I use my free time to do volunteer work. I don't eat meat out of compassion for factory animals. I spend money from my limited income to buy food for those in need. I try to treat everyone with kindness, even those who have wronged me. I reflect on every action I take to make sure I don't repeat any mistakes. I make sure that my conscience is clear before I listen to it. I do whatever I can to improve the lives of others.
I have never tried to make someone feel bad on purpose so that they'll believe in the same god as me. I have never told anyone with a genetic auto-immune disease that they wouldn't have gotten sick if they had found Jesus. I have never told anyone that they're all alone and that they wouldn't be so depressed if they went to church.
I have never hurt anyone in the name of religion.
If indeed your omniscient god exists, he would judge me a good human being.
What would he think of you?
